...i didnt know what to blog about so i asked my cousinnnn
and she said just to say what comes to mind...this is gonna get crazy.
So lately ive been pretty stressed about my "friend" Steven.
We are just friends and I know thats the way it should be, for now, anyways.
I really like him but God has been showing me all kinds of stuff.
My last relationship was pretty bad.
He lived in fresno and i live 3 hours there so, it was a long distance relationship.
Well, He cheated on me with like, abunch of girls. anyways.
I heart broken and basically, Steven has to pay for it.
I have really bad trust issues when it comes to guys.
My bio dad is crummy too.
but i'll save that for another blog(;
So, I really like Steven, but we feel like we should be friends for now.
It is NOT easy.
Its very frustrating sometimes.
God is teaching me, and showing me alot of things through this.
For instance, He's teaching me to depend on Him.
This is a lesson I've been learning all my life.
God is MY Father.
The only one I need.
He is MY Love.
I dont need a boy to tell me Im special.
I should know that already.
But its hard.
It takes alot of prayer.
He's teaching me patience.
and what True Love is.
This is a really hard subject for me to explain in whole.
my mind is very cluttered. lol
my fingers are too slow for my thought process.
haha
So my mind has steered to another subject. Probably cause im talking to Alex. lol
So, Im wanting to do Ariel SOOOOOO bad.
Idk if Im such a great actress or whatever but I really LOVE doing it! lol
Im going to be in a play at my very small school.
Its called "Creation Sensation".
Its a kids play, but very amusing.
Im hoping to get the lead role, which is the Child who is trying to prepare a speech for her biology class, on evolution.
But she is raised in church and know the creation story.
So she is confused.
And so with the help of Aliens, Ameobas, Gorillas, and her Robot, she learns the True story(:
which is, ofcourse, Creation. lol
I also wouldnt mind getting the part of the momma gorilla(: hehe
Im also wanting to do "The Music Man" at Hrtnell.
this summerrrrrr.
Im very excited about it.
okaaaaay so, thats enough for today(:
byyye:D
I totally agree with you on the whole "having trust issues with guys" thing. It is hard when guys are being stupid and tease with your emotions and having a crummy father really bites too. But it is usually these tribulations and trials that really open up your eyes to the beauty and ugliness in the world. "Beauty is simply reality seen with the eyes of love." as I was told before. Although it is kind of hard to see things with the eyes of love when you go through grievous times and having to question the integrity of many people based on a few bad seeds. Prayer is a wonderful thing and it gives such appeasement and helps to alleviate problems (to a certain extent that is). But it is always good to also have the support of those closest to you. I will tell you that you don't need a boy to feel special. But heck. It sure does feel nice. I hope that you don't feel bad about that but if you do you shouldn't. It is natural to want the companionship of another person on this Earth. What's life without the ability to not only love God and Christ but others as well? Just don't give all your love to some guy and only live for some guy. Otherwise you'll end up a very unhappy individual.
ReplyDeleteHow funny; Gail and I were talking about this just this morning. For starters, don't diss the single life. I'm really loving this.
ReplyDeleteAlso, to quote an extremely wise woman, "don't let other people's choices define you." Yeah, your ex was a jerk, sounds like. And it should affect you, in that you choose to be more careful with your heart. But it shouldn't affect you to where you're afraid to go after a good thing. So I guess I'm saying, yeah, be careful with your good guy friend. But do it because you feel like it's the best thing for you both, not because you're scared of getting hurt.
I'm a major hypocrite at this, considering I'm scared of getting hurt by everyone and anything and tend to tell every guy my deepest darkest secrets on the first date, because I've already had the experience where I waited until later to tell him these secrets and well, it didn't work out well.
But just remember, I am here for you, and what's more, so is God.
PS: Come to Ariel. We miss you. =)